I wanted to take some nice photos of my scooter. So today was a nice perfect weather day to do it! I woke up early before dim sum and took some pictures of Kirby.
I’m meant to be writing about the project, I’m behind with the words, and the pictures are taking so long to edit. There is so much to do, and right now I’m sitting here just falling apart for the millionth time this month. She died one year ago tomorrow and I can’t pull myself together. I’m so tired, I'm sadder than I can remember, I have felt like this for so, so long, to the point where I feel I can't even tell anyone any more. I’m a broken record, going round, and round, and round… Every time I think I’m getting there I’m smashed back down again, and I'm so tired of getting up. I don’t even care who reads this anymore, or what they think. I’m a schizophrenic to grief, I'm fine, I'm not, I'm broken, I mend, I look so bad. I cant remember what its like to look in the mirror and feel like myself, I'm permanently marked by the results of this strain, I'm scared it will scar me. I haven’t taken a self-portrait since May because I simply can’t stand myself anymore. I need this to stop; I need someone to take it away….. No one talks about her anymore, I feel like the only one who cries about her, she is everywhere, inside me, around me, fused into my soul, my shadow….. my heart beat…..my everything.
… I would give anything be my old self again, take me back 3 years before she was ill or I was ill, before any of the pain had begun. I feel like I can’t get through another day, I just want to sleep until I can’t remember anymore….. I miss her so much.
Wow, that's a long 4 months since I last blogged. Hehe, well yeah same old excuse... I was busy with work. As some of you might know, I moved from my previous work in fFurious to Qais Consulting. Things are quite fast paced there and it's definitely challenging but at times tiring. But it's alright... I'm just thankful to have an awesome job still and be in the company of some of the best in the industry.
BLOGGED with Recipe:
cats-catfood.blogspot.com
All Images are Copyright CJM 2009
All Rights Reserved
www.agreencat.com/copyrights
Do you ever have one of those days where you want to be productive, you force yourself to get work done, and then it feels like nothing is happening? The work days seem to run into each other and are moving way too fast! It might also be because every minute of the day is planned now. In the morning I have breakfast, then check e-mail/news, do 15-20 minutes of aerobics, 45min to an hour of pilates, shower, work on animation/personal projects for at least 6-8 hours, have lunch and dinner somewhere within the 6-8 hours, take a walk around the neighborhood/park and at the end of the day sped some time with the Kyle. Oh and then sleep. haha!
In the morning I do it all over again. I also barely remember the last weekend we had to do nothing but just be. You know... lazyI
Not that I'm complaining. I would rather be busy than not be busy. I just feel like there should maybe be an extra hour or two in the day. Also, with the daylight savings time in effect, I feel like the evening is coming wayyy too soon.
I was downtown recently and noticed a lot of holiday decoration up. I mean not just in department stores but also on
Well that's all for today. Thanks for reading!
XOXO
How do you use the Internet to stay informed about the things that matter to you?
I use the internet to keep in touch with friends and family, read the news, get updates on blogs, find deals for things I need, networking with other industry professionals, and have fun. I usually use Twitter, Facebook, Flickr and Google RSS/Gmail almost all day everyday. I usually use Google for my searching needs, my e-mail needs, and sometimes storage needs when I don't have a place to store files temporarily. I also play a lot of online games. This includes Super Pocus: Academy of Magic, Poupeegirl, and simple flash games you can find on many websites.
I guess that is my online life in a nutshell.
